My Heart Song

Mr. God I've got questions for you...

Here I am speaking to the thickness in the air.

Again. In the silence of night.

In the stillness of night, when the world feels suspended between breaths.

I find myself again, in a space beyond time, beyond the reach of the length of life’s stresses and all its breadths.

This is not a dream. No, it is too tangible to be a dream.

It is something almost sacred

When my soul is laid this naked.

All in the stillness of night. All in the quiet of night.

Mr. God, this is JJO the Onty.

Remember me? You made me in 1970?

Hey Mr. God, I’ll tell you what, lets jive in this stillness of night. I will go first and you then WILL answer me plenty.

Mr. God, I've got questions for you,

So many to ask, where do I start, it's true.

I'm 54 now, time's ticking along,

Not quite a spring chicken anymore, although I’m still strong.

What were you thinking then, Mr. God, when you made me?

Were you playing a cosmic chef and in your mind’s eye you did suddenly see me?

Oh let us add a good amount of intelligence, just enough to make her constantly restless.

A craze for reading recipes online yet let us make sure she is incapable of making the same recipe twice.

Oh, just enough clumsiness to make sure no one ever gives this one a car license.

And here I am! A bundle of contradictions, of virtues and vices.

Almost as if one your helper angels tripped over your blueprints!

Mr. God, like so many, I'm not asking what is in store, when this Earth we leave,

More concerned am I with the life that I right this moment perceive.

What's happening now, in the here, in the now,

Can you describe it to me, could you please show me how?

ALWAYS it is just three words that I use to describe myself

Could you make me clearer to myself?

I’d say "Christian wife," "mother," and "teacher" right here in that order.

But your view, Mr. God, I’m eager to know,

Of this journey I take, of the seeds that I sow.

Who are you, Mr. God, may I please ask you?

Do you wear a face, or a mask, from where you sit what is your view?

Are you far away from me, or are you near, maybe even within?

Do you have a form, or are you the very air that I breathe in?

Are you light, whose speed is always the same, yesterday today and tomorrow?

Got a funny bone that tickles, or a tear gland that weeps with sorrow?

Do you, like us, delight in the taste of a meal or in the warmth of a hope for a better morrow? 

Are you with me now, or somewhere far tucked in the farthest of this universe’s furrow?

Who are you, Mr. God, tell me true

Who are you, what are you,

A he, she, they or it?

Quick now, I am searching for answers, I'm searching for you.

Ok, now I am confused. Who am I speaking with, in this stillness of night?

I am a scientist! I am supposed to be rational! Rational people do not speak to themselves in the dead of night!

But Mr. God, this is JJO and I DO NEED to speak with you in this stillness of night?

You see, I am confused—

When people say that I am old.

They look at my face and, in its place, they mostly see a frypan that I probably hold?

Not my life’s experiences, nor my skills,

Nor my heart that is SO filled to the brim with thrills

How time has flown, since the day you made JJO the Onty, in 1970

But look Mr. God, here comes the dawn, bearing on its wings the realisation

That I am exactly who I am meant to be.